Listen to Lust for Purity

New Series! Lust for Purity.

This series was born from a question I once asked my mother. I asked her if demons could ever be redeemed. Could they change their minds and want to follow God? And if so would God grant it? She told me no, that they had no way to redeem themselves.

So then a blue haired chick with combat boots and a white trench coat came to me. She knocked on my creative door quite loudly. When I answered it she dragged in a many of her co-stars inside. When I asked her what she like to drink she said a Snow Cherries from France (vodka, creme, cherry syrup, powdered sugar on the rim and a cherry in the middle). Taken back, I knew her story was going to be wild. As I was trying to answer this demon question she also told her story to me. The two merged and thus I had a story.

There are four books in this series, starting with Seeking White Starling followed by Lust for Purity and then Serpent's Dove and lastly Dusk in Utopia. The story takes place in the past, present, but mostly the future. Seeking White Starling takes place nearly 800 years with the last scene taking place in the future.


The story is about Diana Helsing, a cursed earthbound angel that is doomed to have emotional connections to three different demons. These demons came to be in different ways. When a demon possessed a dead man he became the first vampire Buracula. When a demon possessed a willing woman who was seeking dark magic she became the first witch Therastine. And then lastly, a demon possessed an unwilling wolf and thus became the first werewolf Jabe. Diana's grandmother Dione was sent by God to rid these creatures from man kind. But the demon races multiplied and so God sent more angels to earth. After the birth of her son Van, Dione fell in love with Buracula during one of their battles.

When Dione first came to earth, a bunch of gypsy-like Druids took her in and taught her their language. She befriended the leader's daughter originally named Keaira and renames her Katherine (meaning pure) when she Christians the tribe. Seeing how she impacted the human's lives God gave Dione a second task. He said to her that he wanted to test his creation and so made Katherine the ultimate sacrifice. If a vampire were to suck her dry he would become completely human and able to choose to follow God. A witch has to perform a sacrificial ritual and a werewolf must be loved by Katherine to become human.

God gives the task to Dione to protect her from these demons. And thus Katherine becomes hunted by them. She does eventually fall in love for Jabe, but she never confirms it and therefore he doesnt get saved. she actually kills herself so that she didn't choose between her friend Dione and her lover Jabe.

The series starts off with a scene of how Dione, Baracula, Therastine, and Jabe die. It's a quick scene.

The next scene jumps to the mid 1600s with the birth and cursing of Diana. The first book then covers the next 600 years with the book split up by dates and locations rather than chapters. Don't worry the whole series is like that.

Lust for Purity takes place in like 2260 while WWIII is going on. WWIII is happening in the next two other books too, but is also ending by the end of Dusk in Utopia.  Lust for Purity is when they meet the new Katherine (Keaira's decedent) and thus takes the series to a new place. 

So that is the general overview of the series. I made the book cover for Serpent's Dove today. I'll show the first three covers. I have yet to make one for the last book.

The not-so-quite-themes of the Maiden Knight series

Being that I am only on the 12th chapter of this novel, I can't completely say or figure what all the themes are. But I will share with you what I want to explore in this 4 book series.

One: How does a woman fit into both the soldier and mother roles?

I see many women soldiers here in the U.S balance duty and motherhood with sacrifices and sometimes despair. What I really want to capture in this series is the doubt that female soldiers have when entering into combat. Some would say that a woman would never have to fight to protect her country, that the men can take care of it all. Of course you had the Amazons in Greek mythology, but what if they had their male counter parts (or allowed them in the tribes) would they have taken care of the home front instead of the war zone?

It enters her mind that, later on when the war between her country and its rival, she really didn't need to be there on the front lines. Her whole dream growing up had been becoming a mother and having her own family, not being in trenches covered in mud, sweat and blood, fearing her death and the deaths of her friends and lover.

She continues knighthood to take care of her ever growing family, and to re-establish her dead mother's title, but all the same she wishes for a different life, despite her breaking many of the social norms and for the first time in all the land women are becoming more independent of men. But even though she becomes the poster child for the princess' "women's revolution", she sacrifices and suffers.

So with Iris I am creating the I-don't-want-to-be-a-hero character to really convey that it's not all kicks and flying chakrams when it comes to women being in combat. Xena was a great fantasy show, but sadly all it was, was indeed just fantasy. I want to show the struggle and the character being torn between two lives and even two different dreams.

When Iris does become a mother, this duel life really comes about. One day she can be playing with her child, celebrating with her family, and then the next dodging arrows and cutting off heads. The complexity of it all is what is most interesting for me to write.

2) How does one find love/intimacy after rape or sexual abuse?

This is a hard theme to write. Not just because it's a hard subject, but because everyone is different. Some are more fragile than others, some don't even need to find it again, it finds them. So when I am writing Iris, I really have to push away my feelings towards my own sexual abuse and understand what happened to Iris. Iris gets labeled as 'soiled' by society and therefore no man would think of her as marriage material. That's one key factor I had to consider. Also, Iris has 6 brothers, a cousin, and a protective brother-in-law. This enables her to not fear men, and understand that not all men would do that to women.

She finds in her training as a male that there are respectable men and she even considers the ones she gets close to as brothers. So Iris is pretty comfortable being around men and trusting them.

Her issue is intimacy. When she marries Wrider and they actually try to have sex, she has flash backs to the rape. Wrider could touch her a certain way, or even move like her rapist did and she would shut down and fear her husband. Wrider eventually finds this frustrating as most men would. Not being able to be truly close to the one you love.

But after a battle in which Iris gets injured, Wrider takes her away from the battle field and back home to help her. There, after Wrider proves to her family that he can protect her and that he in fact loves her with all of his being, she realizes that Wrider is in no way like her rapist nor does he have any mal-intentions for her. Also, since she is injured, when they do have sex his approach is extremely gentle which is why Iris is able to completely give herself to him.

3) Can women have their own kind of chivalry?

Usually when someone says that word the first image that comes to mind are male knights, or King Arthur. Probably the last thing someone would see is the dead body of a woman soldier. Grim as it is, that word was what I thought when I saw a picture of a dead Israelite woman soldier. When I see the list of names of people who died for America I think the same word, but it has a different meaning than when I specifically think of women.

For one a woman's love is chivalrous sometimes. Like how much she risks for the ones she loves. Being that women are the weaker sex when it comes to physical strength, when she goes out to fight, knowing full well her death is more likely than that of her male peers, that is what I find chivalrous. If course physical strength isn't what makes a good knight or soldier, but the fact that a woman is not as strong as the men around her plays into that fear in the back of everyone's mind.

So for a woman to be in a knight's role, fight for who she loves, defy the odds, and still manage to keep her maternal ways is the kind of chivalry I want to explore more in this series.

The Henners (the original 16) :from the Maiden Knight of Etny

Dern I'm slow. I'm now done with chapter five and starting on six...dern I need to get crackin.

Ok so this post will be exploring the characters of the Henner family. We start out in the story getting to know Iris and her 11 other biological brothers and sisters, her brother and sister and law, and her cousin. So there's (from oldest to youngest):

Rose + Kelen

Braeg + Maelyn

Robin (cousin)

Terron

Jasmine

Jacsen and Anar

Lillie and Iris

Camilla

Wryn

Ixia

Marc

Now Jacsen and Anar and Lillie and Iris are both twins. Jacsen and Lillie were the first borns while Anar and Iris are the second. Now you'd expect the older ones to have more leadership qualities, but that doesn't happen with these guys. Lillie is shy and reserved, also she thinks more logical than Iris. Lillie has a quiet confidence yet she often seems as though she is insecure with her social skills. Jacsen is very anti-social. It amazes me that he even gets a girl friend later on. Nonetheless he doesn't want to have any dealings with leadership. He's the rogue of the family, but his closest relationships are with Iris, Anar, and Lillie. It seems that he is more comfortable the twin siblings than the others. He doesn't get along too well with the older ones and tries to ignore the younger ones.

Anar likes to be pitied. As his father's favorite son, he got a lot of privaledges growing up. He likes having security and doesn't feel like he can have any leadership qualities because of his illness. Through out the book he does grow out of this some what, realizing that he has responisibilities to the family, but still he has a need to be taken care of. Iris, however, is a bit more likely to fit into the leader role. Though persuaded to become a knight, she does have some pride in the fact that if all goes well she will be the first woman knight ever. She's always the one getting into trouble and the one her family worries about the most. Iris has a tongue that often gets her into trouble and has a tendancy to act very childish. But it is her honesty and loyalty that makes her the hero of this story.

As for the other siblings, Rose is the heart of the family. Since their parents are dead, Rose steps up in taking the mother role. She does get help from Maelyn, Braeg's wife, but she is the main mother figure. Rose herself doesn't like to be mothered or taken care in that way, she feels that she is the only one in her family to provide that kind of nurtring. Even when she does have her own child Rose feels like she has 12 other children to take care of. Her natural warmth is something I admire about her, her most endeering feature though is her beauty. Physically and personally Rose is one of the most beautiful people to Iris.

Kelen is Rose's husband. He's light hearted, witty, and smart. Sometimes it seems like he's a big kid with authority. But Kelen does have his issues. As a kid he was picked on for being skinny and basically weak, and was even nearly gang (well two men) raped as a teen. When he became an adult, however, he worked for the smith and is now the strongest (well tied with Braeg) man of the house. He does get touchy and insecure at times and does hold slight grudges with people. Also, he hates it when people break their promises toward him, he finds it to be one of the ultimate insults. But despite all that he is a lovable character with his fierce loyalty and wise-crack antics.

Braeg is the leader of the pack, so to speak. Through the story Iris compares her family to a pack of wolves, and Breag is the head wolf. He is the father figure to everyone in the house and tries his hardest to be a better father than Erid Henner who used to beat Braeg, Terron, and a few times Jacsen. He is very sensible and yet light hearted, however Braeg often feels he is being taken for granted, especially by Iris. He feels that she doesn't care that he works in the smithshop in the morning, sweats all day in the fields and worries (sometimes more so than Rose) about the well being of their family all the time. When she confronts everyone about becoming a knight he feels that his efforts in trying to provide for his family isn't good enough to Iris, that she has to be the one to provide because Braeg is incompetiant or thinks too much like a commoner. Also, Braeg had made a promise to his mother, before she died, that he would never let anything happen to any of them, and like Kelen, Braeg never breaks his promises.

Maelyn is Braeg's wife and the second care-giver of the home. If Rose is the one to bandage a wound, Maelyn is the one to give the sex talk. She is more reserved than her husband and more of a peacemaker. She has a calm demure and a civil approach to everything. Frequently in a happier mood than the others, to see Maelyn really anxious or of low spirits is rare. But when she is gives the news straight-fact. Coming from a slightly less bigger family than the Henner's she is used to caring for others, but Maelyn often wishes for alone time. She is a big fan of meditation before starting the day, and a big fan of anything to relieve her migranes.

Robin is their cousin from their father's side. When Robin's parents died (when Iris was 12) he came to live with the Henners in Etny. Eversince Iris was considered "soiled", Robin figured that he would be the one to marry Iris. In this culture cousins marring cousins is not abnormal, so Robin doesn't consider courting anyone until he felt it was the right time to approach Iris. But once she starts training as a knight and falling for Sir Wrider, Robin realizes that Iris is unatainable. Whether or not he really loved her is never revealed, but it is obvius he does have a loving affection for her. Robin is the friend to everyone in the family, even Jacsen. Though he may not have the tightest relationships with everyone, if you want someone to take you out of your dumpy mood you go to Robin. With his charasmatic humilty and musically gifted talent, Robin can put a smile on anyone's face. Though he does tend to be elusive at times and not fully let people in quickly, Robin is probably most likely to have a heart of gold.

Terron is the one sibling Iris doesn't get along with. After calling her soiled in the first chapter, we see a very cold relationship between the two. Often times he is misunderstood by the others. They see negativity, but really Terron cares deeply for his family and often lets that passion for them to go over board. Being the one to have gotten hit the most by their father, Terron doesn't respond well to authority. Most would think him and Jacsen would relate better because of this, but really Terron tries to ignore the twin boys the most. This is because he feels that one day they would die young and that the closer he was to them the harder the loss. He was very close to his mother and desperatly wanted to be with his father, so when they died he felt it really deeply. One of the reasons he doesn't care too much for Iris is that she was one of her father's favorite children. Though he doesn't resent Anar or Rose for being the other two favorite, he does resent Iris for it. This is because, as a kid, Iris would flaunt her favoritism while poor Terron tried desperatly to earn his father's favor. However, these two do eventually path things up especially when they both realize they had a common goal which was to keep their family safe and happy.

Jasmine is crafty and witty. With her dark looks and clever charms, Jasmine is one of the most sought after girls in Etny. However Jasmine isnt exactly Miss Congeiniality. Jasmine prides herself too much with her looks and often is in a vexed mood. She feels that since Rose decided not to marry above their class that it is up to her to do so. More than anyone in her family she realizes her noble bloodline and desperatly wants to live the life of a noblewoman. When that dream does come true for her though she realizes that her family is more important the the material things she gets as a nobleman's wife. She is the Prodical Son of this story and though she may seem like a snooty-stuck up wannabe, she does have a sweeter side that most would find refreshing.

Camilla was born a year after Lillie and Iris. They consider her their triplet and the three are very close. Camilla isn't as pretty (so says Iris) as her other sisters. Socially awkward and a bit more timid than Lillie, Camilla is the ugly duckling. But yes she does get to become a swan when she disproves Iris (and the rest of her sisters) when she catches the eye of one of the most (if not the most) handsom noblemen in Nyress. Camilla's soft spoken nature and calm personality makes the easiest to be around in the family. However, she does use the handsome nobleman to her advantage. Though she does truly adore him, she uses him to prove to everyone that she is beautiful. She wants to be seen everywhere with him and Iris knows it and calls her out on it too. Camilla is very jealous that her sisters get attention from guys and are considered "prettier than common folk" to everyone else. However once she realizes that it wasn't just her looks that attracted the most handsome nobleman, it was her tender personality, she loses the grudges against her sisters.

Wryn is probably one of the more complicated characters. Out of all the brothers Wryn looks more like his father in the facial features. His bitterness not only comes from his father, but also from the older brothers. Braeg is the hardest on Wryn because Bearg sees a lot of Erid within him. Not wanting him to end up like their father, Braeg is often patronizing and overly correcting Wryn. Wryn admires Jacsen and sort of takes on his personality, but Jacsen doesn't want to acknowledge nor does he care. Jacsen's overly-rogue tendencies makes Wryn fusterated and often makes him as cold and distant as their father was. When Iris completes her training and makes the family nearly a part of the nobility, Wryn wants to follow in her footsteps as a knight. This gives him an immense respect for her when he realizes all the crap she had to face and even did it with grace. One thing that I like about Wryn is his ability to not discriminate when it comes to people. Though I wouldn't consider him an under dog, he does cheer for them and that makes him honorable.

Ixia is the near image of her mother. With firey red hair and bright blues eyes, Ixia is the one who favors thier mother most but not just in looks. More than anyone in their family, Ixia has Leial's personality. With a witty toungue, adventurous aspirations, humility, and an elegant poise, Ixia mirriors her mother. Her sisters envy her sometimes in that they wish they had some physical features of their mother. Only Ixia has it. Most people feel comfortable around her and as she gets older she becomes more of a social butterfly than even Jasmine. Eventually I'm thinking of having her become the first woman lawyer in Nyress too, but I haven't thought that far with this story. When Iris becomes a knight and goes off to war, Ixia starts to recent her. Yes, she does consider Iris an inspiration, but at the same time she (more than anyone eles) sees how jaded Iris becomes and feels like she lost a very valued sister. However, Ixia does come to terms with the person Iris becomes and learns to accept the changes they all have made through the series.

Marc is obviously the youngest of all the Henners. His birth, however, caused Leial to die in childbirth. He doesn't remember her nor their father and grows up considering Braeg and Rose as his parents. When he does grow up, like Iris and Wryn, he pursues knighthood and wants to have a family. Marc is a smart mouth jokster that follows Iris' path of troublemaking. He is often restless and would be considered ADHD. He and Anar have a special bond in that when Braeg lacks in fatherly comfort, Marc looks to Anar for that male reassurance. Also he and Lillie have a good relationship because out of anyone in the family she has the most paitience. He feels he can be more himself around her, and it isn't unlikely to see these two running in the fields wildly.

Ok so thats it for the character mini bios. Overall this family is far from perfect, but it will be obvious in the story how all of them are very close, even Jacsen who eventually learns to stop being a rogue.

The Maiden Knight of Etny and what I plan to do

This is a story about a hard-headed misfit of a peasant girl named Iris Henner. Living in a house with fourteen others (brothers, sisters, cousin, sister-in-law and brother-in-law) its hard to keep the finances steady especially since Iris' two brothers Jacsen and Anar are always sick. Their health concerns are the center of the of the Henner's problems. Their medicine and the ingredients to make the medicine become more and more expensive as the king's policies create more and more inflation.

Despite the various jobs the Henner family do, it isn't enough to pay for the medicine. Lucky for Iris, she has powerful friends. When Iris becomes a maid for the princess, they become fiercely good friends. Princess Lyress sympathizes with Iris' family and their financial trouble. However, she isn't permitted to over pay her maid, therefore Lyress can't bring the Henners out of economic trouble. She realizes that the only people who can successfully buy the over priced ingredients for the medicine are the Nobility. Ideas start floating around in Lyress' mind, "What if I could make her a noble?" seemed to be the easiest conclusion. But in this society women didn't make money, not even the merchant's wives. What ever money a woman had she was born into. The only people who did make money were men. And as a nobleman there were two choices to making money, Law or Knighthood.

Since Iris wasn't born into nobility, there is no way for Lyress to transform her into a noble woman. However, when noblemen train for their shield in Knighthood, they dont need the money of their families like noblewomen did. They have a chance to earn their income. Being a knight and serving the king is the best career a man can have. Though the level of nobility that they are born into affects how much their paid, unlike a career in the Law, a knight could climb the class ladder and get paid more.

So Lyress and Iris come up with a convincing alias for Iris and thus becomes Ered (Iris' father's name) of the House on Henne. Though at first no one in the capital city of Mirasa has heard of the House of Henne, Lyress is able to convince everyone that there is a noble family of that name. Thus no one, yet, questions it and accepts Ered as a nobleman.

The rest of the story shows Iris' struggle to becoming a Knight. Not only does she have to be extra careful not to reveal her sex, but she also has to work twice as hard to keep up with the guys. Not to mention in her academics as well. Along the way she falls for her knight master Sir Wrider of the House of Ent, a red haired, green-eyed enigma in Iris' world. As a trainee knight she cant earn the money yet and so the Henners still suffer.

With all the pressures upon her shoulders, Iris has to be strong. If this works out and she does earn her shield she can bring her family out of the financial hole, and she could make them happy, something she deeply wants to see. No one would ever have to know her sex. With her short hair, unplucked eyebrows, and bound breasts(Iris actually is thrilled that they're small) Iris can keep her ploy a secret.

Despite this radical role change, the one thing besides her family's happiness that she wants is to have a family of her own. A husband and children. But this dream was shattered when at fourteen Iris was raped, and her reputation became "Soiled." She figures that since marriage was out of the question for her future, becoming a knight and hiding her true sex seemed to be a better alternative, especially since it could for fill her other dream.

All in all, what I plan to do with this story is to show a few things

1. A better role model for teen girls/young women

Meryer's Twilight was a riveting series, but her heroine is a terrible role model for women of any age. Bella Swan is manipulative, selfish, and sometimes down right cold. Colder than Edward Cullen's living-dead body. Iris, though no where near percet, is a better role model in that she tries to be unselfish and is honest. Her honesty (though she masquerades as a guy) is her noble quality. She is genuine in how she feels. She doesn't build up walls or lie to make herself comfortable. She is authentic and doesn't fake anything she feels.

2. To show the dynamics of genders

Obviously this is a (wo)man vs society story. Though this society restricts women more so than in our present culture, there are still things I see that show inequality today. I incorporate those things in this story. But also I that not every man is an egotistical jerk of a human being. Though there are fair share of jerks, the guy friends Iris makes as a trainee knight prove that there are two sides to every story. Iris is the only pioneer for a woman knight, and so she is the only person in this story to see "Man's World," and "Woman's World." She lives in both, and so she sees both points of view. This story is not to bash guys, it's not to give women the liscence to over power men, it just shows the truth of it all. Unlike some of Tamora Pierce's heroines, Iris really does want to be a traditional, nurturing, child-bearing woman. Like every girl she dreams of a wedding. She envies her sisters (especially Rose, the oldest who has a husband) because all of them have the opportunity of getting married, where as Iris doesn't because she is considered "Soiled." "Soiled" meaning that she is a damaged good, and in this culture it is rare that she'd be considered for a marriage offer.

Also, unlike Twilight, I portray guys as actual guys. I felt that the Twilight series was not an accurate representation of men. The only ones that were even close were Jasper and Emmett, and you rarely saw much of them. Now that doesn't mean I ignore that guys have emotions. Its just that I show the differances men and women have in showing them.

3. What true Love is.

" Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but( rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never ends." ~ 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

This is the definition of love. In this story I show what love truly is between a man and a woman, or to a person's family, or to a person's friends. Though there is no religion in this story, I do try to show the way true love was intended by God. Also I show that love doesn't have to be physical for guys and girls. That respect both ways really does kindle love rather than hot passion. Iris grows to admire and respect Wrider, so much so that he inspires her to be better. And this is visa versa too. Wrider has alot of respect for Iris, rather than condemning her for mascaraing as a boy and a noble (yes he does find out she's a girl) he admires that she is doing such a dangerous and risky thing all for the sake of her family. Sure he does get mad at first, who wouldn't? But once he knows why she did all of it, he (though he never verbalizes it until later) has immense respect for her. He wonders if he were her, would he do such a risky thing for his father(his only family)? We never know the answer to that one, but Iris knows that he would and that's more than likely true.

Soooo yeah thats the ugh...commentary(??) of The Maiden Knight of Etny. Currently im only on chapter 4 in this story but hopefully I'll write at a faster pace.